There is an overwhelming amount of noise – in my mind, on social media, outside my house, from loved ones and acquaintances. I see people who are just trying to live better lives, yet feel inadequate in their efforts. We’re bombarded by countless messages on social media, in advertising, in email newsletters – all dictating how to be “enlightened,” “desirable,” “successful,” or any other aspiration we hold dear. Each social media post paints a picture of what it means to be “enlightened,” “successful,” or “desirable,” fueling our desires with images of others living the lives we crave. It’s a relentless onslaught of “shoulds” and “advice.”

A lot of it is bullsh*t. 

I should explain. The inspiration for this came from a post I saw on a fair weather friend of mine’s Instagram story. It read:

That’s a tall order. 

I can’t imagine doing all of those things at once. Even tackling one of those things is an accomplishment worthy of praise. People on social media want to act like all of these things are equally right and attainable for everyone. If you fall short, you’re deemed a failure – just look at everyone else who supposedly succeeded.

Let’s take ‘growth takes finally starting,’ as an example. I know people who physically cannot “just start.” When people ask me how I managed to write my book, I can only say “I just did it…I guess.” But my process isn’t going to look like your process. How I did it isn’t how you could do it. 

It’s my wish for people to realize the images and content we see and listen to is just noise. There are no rules. There is only what feels right for you on an emotional, gut, or intuitive level. We’re all highly individual in what will or will not work for us. Pick up what works for you, and discard what doesn’t. There is no golden path to the things you want. Your path is yours. 

There’s one aspect of my friend’s post I believe to be universally true: self-awareness, or rather, knowing oneself. It’s the foundation of everything I’ve accomplished. Understanding my feelings, actions, and beliefs has empowered me to sift through the noise of social media and the world. I can observe without internalizing, and let go of what doesn’t serve me. Everyone I know is stressed out, burned out, tired, or anxious. I think a lot of that comes to trying to fit into other peoples definitions and images of “the perfect life.” Of listening to what we’ve been told we must do in order to be happy. Again, there are no rules. It’s all about what rules you are going to set for yourself, and if those rules make you feel good.

I wonder what the world would look like, or how we’d individually feel, if we only consumed social media that spoke to or nourished us in some way. I recently unfollowed hundreds of accounts across Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. It felt like breathing clean air. A lot of my mental space became clearer, and now that energy can be used for something else. I can see how their thoughts were not mine. I can see how their content didn’t resonate, or add anything to my life. I can see how I may have been trying to live by someone else’s manual, when really I need to listen to my own.

Let’s take a popular axiom to achieve success: “You gotta wake up at 5:00 a.m. That’s when the real winners get up.” Does that actually feel right for you? Or have you adopted someone else’s truth as your own because you believed that’s what it would take to become successful? Sure, success can be attained in waking at 5:00 a.m., but success can be found hundreds of ways, from hundreds of hours honing an instrument, or in the quiet moments sitting at home on your couch. Sometimes all it takes is one thought to propel you forward, and if it feels right for you, that’s all that matters.

You might be asking, “but Kate, aren’t you creating noise too?” I don’t pretend to have all the answers, and I don’t pretend that my ramblings are correct or infallible. All I know is what has worked for me. That is the point of this blog: to share the things I’ve picked up along my path, hoping they might resonate with you too. I hope people know they can be an authority on themselves. That’s how we turn off the noise.